A Ton Of Cocaine Was Found Floating In The Mediterranean Sea, And The ‘Cocaine Shark’ Jokes Are Flying
Life is often stranger than fiction, but sometimes it imitates it. Cocaine Bear, about a grizzly high on Bolivian Marching Powder, was based (however loosely) on a true story. There’s already a “Meth Gator” film en route this summer, but if anyone wants to make another knockoff, have we got a story for you.
As per CNN, some two tons of cocaine — over $400 million worth — was found floating in the Mediterranean off the coast of Sicily. The drugs were found sealed in waterproof floating packages, and though it’s not yet known who it belongs to, it’s suspected that the consignment was left by a cargo ship to be picked up by traffickers.
“The identification and subsequent seizure of this quantity of drugs, one of the largest ever carried out in the national territory, likely prevented the drug from being recovered by criminals for subsequent illegal sale in the national territory, which would have yielded very high earnings,” read a statement from Italian police.
The officers who transported the drugs ashore were given air cover from multiple units, should they come under attack by those seeking it.
Honestly, that in itself would make for a pretty good movie. Others had another idea: about a shark having fun on blow.
…coming soon to a theater near you:
Cocaine Shark https://t.co/FQVkYjYBni
— TheTruthHurts (@DavidBSamuels) April 17, 2023
Cocaine Bear ain't got nothing on Cocaine Shark. pic.twitter.com/gMxk7WhWGa
— GoodNightHarlem (@GoodNightHarlem) April 15, 2023
Sequel to "Cocaine Bear"? Cocaine Shark?https://t.co/mrL1xNFGiK
— Laurie Garrett (@Laurie_Garrett) April 17, 2023
"Cocaine Shark" filming imminent. https://t.co/drftBk3pjk
— IronCond0r (@Hershkowitzy) April 17, 2023
Screenplay pitch: “Cocaine Shark” https://t.co/r8YcN8gXCi
— Alan Boyle (@b0yle) April 17, 2023
I'm probably late to the party here but… COCAINE SHARK? https://t.co/mxsJfbhYf2
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 17, 2023
"Cocaine Shark" pic.twitter.com/ml2gUvraof
— Layden Robinson (@LaydenRobinson) April 17, 2023
Alas, and however improbably, that movie already exists but hasn’t yet been released.
Cocaine Shark https://t.co/zjngPQ1aFW pic.twitter.com/DVJGSFhYq6
— Tony (@nachi316) April 17, 2023
In a way, there’s already been a coke shark movie, sort of.
We basically already had Cocaine Shark the movie. Real ones know. pic.twitter.com/cJ8cIeNevu
— Rob Sherrell (@RobJustJokin) April 17, 2023
Others thought about other aquatic critters that would be fun on blow.
Everyone is replying "Cocaine Shark" but Cocaine Dolphin is much more terrifying. He's smart AND he's coked up. https://t.co/22LYX7VZm2
— Some Guy (@GoodKidDadCity) April 17, 2023
If someone doesn't make a film called Cocaine Shark or Cocaine Jellyfish after this, then what are we even doing? https://t.co/rnNmRzbNEC
— Ryan Nicholson (@McMetalfaceYT) April 17, 2023
All these hacks and followers tweeting out "Cocaine Shark" but the real threat is Cocaine Octopus.
Coketopus will cut and snort a line with two tentacles while the rest fuck your shit up. https://t.co/pPoaes45EN
— Grand Moff Snarkin, NOT an EM parody, Bearified (@N7IRL) April 17, 2023
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